Santa Theory

Ha! I was well 'sussed' on Monday. I had to hurry into town to grab some more material from the archives before the holiday season closes the old place down for a week and afterwards I grabbed a quick lunch in MacDonalds near Hon-Chiba station. There I was at my table putting on my starched linen napkin and uncorking the Bollinger when I spotted that a little boy around three or four years old waiting in line for lunch with his teenage brother had also spotted me. And he could hardly keep his feet on the floor he was just so excited. He began tugging at his big brother's anorak and chattering excitedly as he pointed me out from between his mentor's legs. "Hey! Ani! LOOK - Santa Claus is eating his lunch over there! No, no over there, SANTA! Really, it is Santa!" Of course the more excited he got the less notice his brother, busy chatting up his girlfriend, took. What a 'bummer' eh? A once in a lifetime opportunity to see Santa Claus in the flesh and you can't even get your dumb relative to turn around and see such a wonder.

I mention all this because at the Christmas Party for some of our elementary school students later in the day one of them asked me if I believed in Santa Claus and I couldn't tell a lie! I had to tell them that I didn't just believe in Santa but actually I KNEW he was real because once I had seen him myself. Or, to be accurate, not actually seen him but heard him ...

It happened like this. Once upon a time around 1951 or 1952 there really was a very snowy Christmas Eve just like the ones you see on the cards. It was when I was staying at my grandparents home in Barnard Castle. Like all good children I had gone to bed with my hot water bottle around 7:30 and slept deeply, dreaming about the possibility of presents the next morning. But later, very late at night (and I know it was very late because in those days in our street they used to turn the gas lamps off at ten and it was pitch dark outside) I woke up suddenly. And can you guess what I heard?

Yep! Sleigh bells outside in the snow. Sounds romantic but to be honest it was pretty spooky. I could hear trotting hooves coming up the street and the sound of the bells on the harnesses and then it suddenly stopped outside my window.

Then a terrible thought went through my mind. If Santa Claus finds kids awake when he calls he passes on by and never leaves presents. So I snuggled down very very deep under my quilt, so deep that not even my nose was sticking out, and I went back deeply asleep again.

So there you are. OK it might not be an epistemology that my professors would 'buy into' as offering definitive proof of the Santa Theory but I never said it was. Say what you will but like that kid in MacDonalds I just know Santa is lurking around here someplace from the experience of my own senses.