Vase of flowers

Wandered down to the washitsu yesterday evening to give myself a break from typing. Edera was down there with her feet in the kotatsu doing some proof-reading for me, a second check on the chapters of my thesis that are (hopefully!) now finally finally put away for the examiners.

There was a new vase of flowers on the tatami to the right of our family altar. What? No of course I don't notice such things, I am just a man after all you know. But E, being a woman, likes to challenge me about such things to confirm my dumbness. "See anything different ...?" And could I guess who they were from? A double whammy in life's little power games coming up.

It seemed that they had just been delivered, and that the were from the vets who had been looking after Pero over the last few weeks. I was touched, such unexpected kindnesses come as a real surprise don't they? I'd always felt that we were being carefully 'looked after' during that time, not just the mortally sick cat but also her stressed out human carers. And then to be remembered in that way. Pero's flowers. They were the last of her many fans it seems.

One of the things I have parked on my 'back burner' to think about more carefully when it is less painful is my own position vis a vis vets in situations where an animal is terminally ill. Just exactly when does euthanasia feel right? I've always been given rather strong advice that if possible it is better for the animal to die a natural death and that in the bigger scheme of things it makes an important difference, but what exactly does 'if possible' mean here? Certainly it doesn't mean suffering serious unnecessary pain. Luckily in all the cases where I have had the responsibility so far things have worked out OK. I'm certainly never going to be of the school that believes that once an animal is mortally sick the only option is that "the kindest thing is to have them put to sleep". It isn't true.

In the past in England I've found myself side-stepping the vets in that final couple of days because I didn't want the overt pressure, but I suspect a lot of that is in my own mind. I can see that if and when I have other animals to care for in the future I need to talk to any vet I'm going to use around this issue years before decisions become a sudden necessity. And maybe I need to read a bit more about the issues too, and how small animal practice vets feel about it. In a way this vase of flowers has helped me a lot, it is a reminder, if I needed one, that the vets cared as much as we did.