The Long Walk

Something 'tweaked' my memory recently and made me remember vividly a time when I was maybe fourteen and had a bit of a 'crush' on a girl. Not the first time of course, perhaps the fifth or sixth. But it probably was the first time where there was no pre-existing social bridge available - friendship between families etc. - to give me an opportunity and excuse to talk naturally to the object of my affection. If anything was "going to happen" with Nancy, then it was going to be a case of pure raw nerve and 'cold turkey' - if you can have cold nerves in raw turkeys. The classic "take your courage in your hands" situation.

Now during school hours she and I shared a classroom but of course she mixed with the girls and I mixed with the only two people that talked to me. But the big bonus was that her route home went along the pavement right outside our first floor maisonette and I would lurk in the shadows of my curtained bedroom every afternoon watching for her horn-rimmed glasses coming down the road. Ah! Sweet innocence!

Over a period of weeks I 'psyched' myself up to go and talk to her on her walk home. Can't remember now just exactly how it happened but one day it was a case of 'alea jacta est'- my resolve was resolved. No sooner was she past our garden path than I was down the stairs and out of the front door cutting a cool figure following nonchalantly in her wake.

It turned out that was the easy bit. Next came "The Long Walk". The really tough task was to close the twenty yard gap between us as she strode down the road towards Langley Green Arcade. But inch by inch with pounding heart that distance was reduced and in the end I was walking half a step behind and almost next to her and then amazingly (she being a very kind and compassionate girl I guess) we started talking.

Well all that was a very modest 'boy meets girl' situation fifty years ago and hardly the beginning of a very passionate relationship either, to be honest I don't remember if we got much further after than going around to each other's house a couple of times. But if I was grading it now I would still have it down as one of the top ten scary moments in my life because I was vulnerable. And I could take you exactly to the place where it happened. I think it still affects my reactions when I meet women for the first time too, I always try and made the entrance into conversation easy and relaxed.