On hearing the first intimation of Christmas

I was reading some 'bloggery' this week where the writer was banging on about the virtues of avoiding the excesses of the modern Christmas season. I was shocked! Hey! - come on - what kind of an attitude is that eh? Bah! Humbug! If everyone ducked Christmas and nobody got sucked into the maelstrom of remorseless commercialism where would we all be? Retail market analysts would be plummeting earthwards from the window ledges of tall buildings, not a single Debenhams or Sogo department store would be left standing on the High Street and we would all immediately be plunged into an economic ice age. And that would just be the start of it believe me. Also, if I'm going to suffer why shouldn't you? You can soon have too much of smugness, especially other people's.

We have all the trimmings of a proper English Christmas looming this year - only the second in eight years. Here in Japan you notice Christmas, sleigh bells start ringing on garage forecourt hi-fi systems around October time, but the whole shebang is over by December 15 because they need to dump Santa in the skip to make way for the New Year fairies. Back in 2006 I was in England for Christmas and I'd forgotten what the whole thing was like. That non-stop retail madness for about three weeks before, every car park jammed to capacity, two hour queues to get out of Tescos with the packet of butter you forgot to buy before, shelves long stripped bare of poultry, sprouts, double cream. Go on, tell me honestly, you love it don't you! Who needs Raymond Briggs and "Walking in the air"?

Now here's one for some serious sociological analysis. Was there ever an uncommercial Christmas? Honestly? Was there really ever a golden age when children brimmed over with starry-eyed happiness at the sight of some doll made from two clothes pegs and poster paints on Chrstmas morning? Hurried to church to praise the Eternal clutching two toffees and an oatcake? OK then, put a date on it - which year was that exactly? If you look carefully at those paintings of cheerful Breugel peasants there are always Dorothy Perkins or Sears bags pushed under the trestle tables laden with goodies, in those snowbound cottages they are all watching back numbers of the Morecambe and Wise show, drinking too much and falling out with each other.

Tom Lehrer is one of the all time 'greats' for me and I love that Christmas Carol he wrote - you know - the one with "Angels we have heard on high ... tell us to go out and buy!" and "God rest you merry merchants may you make the Yuletide PAY!" You can find it here. And always remember

It doesn't matter how sincere it
Is, nor how heartfelt the spirit,
Sentiment will not endear it,
What's important is the price.