A behavioral difference between the U.K. and Japan
I’m telling you only from my own experience. There will be various kinds of funerals held in both countries, so please do not generalize what I say.
Today I’ll tell you just one observation. A big difference is about the family and relatives look at the deceased or not. In Japan, definitely yes but in England it seemed not always. In my experience in various parts of Japan, if a person dies in a hospital, he/she is usually carried back home or a funeral place or a temple. The deceased will be laid on a futon bed. Family and relatives will sit near the deceased and spend a night with the incense lit all night.
So I imagine, if you are English, you will find it rather scary to take a look at the dead person especially if you don’t know the person well. It might just give you repulsive feeling. With me as Japanese, when I see the face of the deceased I always have the impression that the face is the most peaceful and relaxed. I feel it’s better to see the beautiful face because it actually calms you down rather than upsets you. Imagination gives you worries, threat and fear but the reality gives you peace of mind, clarity and stability.. that’s how I feel at the moment.
posted by Edera
posted by Iain @ 7:18 PM
3 Comments:
Hi Edera,
I saw a wonderful Japanese film about a man who got a job with funeral director. His job was to wash the body in the presence of the relatives. In English it was called "Departures". I thought it dealt with this sensitive subject with grace and humour.
Bob
I watched 'Okuribito' on a recent flight . It's the story of an unemployed cellist who by misunderstanding an advertisement, takes a job preparing the body for the viewing and funeral. I thought it an excellent film dealing with something rarely spoken about. You offer good advice.
I hope you suffered no damage in the recent typhoon.
Hello Bob & Walter
Interesting that this post reminded you of the film. I watched it last year and yes I was moved. Afterwards I heard from a woman living in our area that her family has a person who is called 'chigiri' (meaning karmic relation or tie) and if somebody dies in her family, he/she comes to help wash the body. And it's not about wiping the body, it's about letting the body take a bath! Don't know how... When it comes to cleaning the body in front of the relatives, I have never encountered it myself. It must depends on the district where you live and the customs there.
The movie was brilliant not only because as you say, it featured the topic rarely spoken about but also it made us realise how much prejudice we have against the occupation relating to death. Is it only Japanese?
I heard from a friend of mine that people in Madagascar really respecttheir ancesters. Death is not something scary to them. They mummify the bodies and every year in a kind of joyful way, in a festival, people carry them and walk along the street. Don't know if it's completely true. Do you find it shocking?
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